Hellnet

un: ???; [video]

Tue, 12 Feb 2019 12:25:33 GMT

Posted by: radostnaya_devushka

( TW: feral kids )

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[Video]

Wed, 30 Jan 2019 18:52:50 GMT

Posted by: permboy

[ This post is coming from Gintoki's bed. Has he even left it at all? One might wonder, from the state of it and his clothes. And his hair? (No, his hair is always like this, and he has actually left the bed long enough to scavenge for food.) ]

All right, clearly we're all excited to be together again, let's sing songs and dance in a ring on Friday, but are we actually gonna talk about what the fuck happened here? 'cause if Brimstone's abandoned us I'm gonna throw a huge party of my own. And then we should reclaim this town.

And how the hell are there new people here? I ain't been getting any reaping jobs for ages. Pretty sure that whole system's down. You guys get lost in the Maw?

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video; You walked into the party like you were walking on a yacht

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 16:32:54 GMT

Posted by: houseparty

...so Hell does have Wifi.

Huh. Well, I lost that bet.

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Voice Post; New Beginnings

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 20:18:07 GMT

Posted by: ailes_dor

Testing, testing... are any of you slackers still dead out there?

So I don't know what the hell- pun intended- happened back there but I'm still here if you're still here. This place is like a ghost town. With added bits of corpse all over the sidewalk. Those of you who can pull yourselves together, Silks is having a mixer night on Friday, so you can get out your best Shrouds and party eternity away.

And so I can figure out who of you is gone for good and who is still rotting away down here with me.

ROLL CALL!

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video; un: IT'S NOT USERNAME, IT'S KATSURA

Thu, 06 Jul 2017 13:01:45 GMT

Posted by: bombdemon

[ You've probably seen Katsura before. You may remember him as That Weird Neighbor Who Hoards Cats, The Overly Enthusiastic Nut At The Reform Branch's Desk, or That Guy Who Ran The Most Offensive Costume Contest Ever And Then Never Announced A Winner. ]

[ He actually looks somewhat distraught. ]

Ah, good day, Hell residents! I was meaning to ask whether anybody has been experiencing any... unusual effects in the last few days. We've had that rain which turned everyone into slime monsters for three days, and the plague, and the sentient warts week... All temporary, of course, though I am aware some of us have suffered permanently.

[ He pauses, then sighs. Clearly, whatever he's troubled by, he hopes it isn't permanent. ]

[ The camera rolls out, finally showing more than his face and hair, and... those sure are GIANT, FLUFFY WHITE WINGS sprouting out of his back. Like living clouds, or the appendages of an especially soft, pristine white duck. Quite an angelic look for someone who's allegedly been sent straight to Hell with no stops in between. Katsura wrings his hands dramatically. ]

Tell me it's that time of the month again. [ burying his face in his hands-- ] This is awful! I might as well be wearing a "kick me" sign on my back!

...

[ He suddenly pauses, reaching around to pat at his back, and a faint rustle of paper can be heard before the feed shuts off. ]

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video :: un: leo

Mon, 19 Jun 2017 07:31:24 GMT

Posted by: bigblockofcheeseday

[A slightly rumpled man appears on screen. His suit is limp, tie way undone, shirt unbuttoned at the top, the jacket long since discarded somewhere in Josh's place, shirtsleeves rolled up - basically, he doesn't look anything like he normally would because it is unbearably hot in this damned place. He's fully in focus, like he's done this a hundred times before - because he has.]

I thought Vietnam was hot and sticky, but I'm telling you, this place has it beat by a fair margin. I don't envy those of you permanently assigned here. Those of you who choose to live here, well, that's your own damned fault.

[He takes a long drink of water.]

Since Josh keeps coming up empty - does anyone know how to get the hell out of here?

[He isn't actually supposed to be here, so, if there's a way out, he would love to know what it is.]

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Video UN: xXTwilightXx

Tue, 06 Jun 2017 14:51:48 GMT

Posted by: mertondingle

[It's not easy for someone who's terrified just to be in hell, but Merton's managed to find an internet café with an open seat and also to sell/ find/ steal enough for the criminally priced obligatory coffee. He just came from 2001, shh, don't tell him about his username.]

Fellow denizens.

[Merton scowls for a moment, attempting to look unlike a newbie and a target.]

Does anyone know anything about Reaping? I thought it was done by just one guy, but it turns out it's a committee, like Soul Taker. You have to go Up There, right? Do you have monitors that watch you while you're...you know? [Is there any way you could go check on a friend, he means.]

Aside from that, uh, actually how do you get employment in Hell? It's pretty cramped down here, not a lot of people hiring. You have movies, I do know a lot about movies. I could work in a video store. Or I have...screenplays if anyone's interested. [He's almost deluded enough to believe that they're good enough to sell. But not quite.]

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video; un: basher

Fri, 19 May 2017 04:20:41 GMT

Posted by: tigers

[ You get to see Moran in all his muttonchopped glory today, seated like a king on his classy and timeless couch. He’s brushing what appears to be ash from the tiger’s whiskers, but seems to be relatively unbothered as he muses to the camera. ]

It appears as though someone - and I do not intend to name names though you most certainly know who you are - has attempted to set fire to my property. That was a mistake, chummy. You surely know well by now, but allow me to give a short demonstration.

[ He turns to the camera with a cheshire grin as he fishes into his pocket. He withdraws a book of matches, and rises from the couch, starting to pace as he begins his spiel. Don't worry; it's shorter than his previous ones. ]

As my employer once told me-- [ Moran clears his throat, putting on a thin, reedy voice that is clearly his attempt a mimicking someone in his life. ] "Only an idiot guesses or reasons or deduces, Colonel Moran." Sorry old bastard wasn't wrong about that, was he? You've guessed and reasoned and deduced that my property might be dangerously flammable. I must admit, I can't completely fault you. With such a furry beast of a seat, it would be the logical conclusion anywhere else.

[ He strikes the match and tosses it onto the beautiful, flawless couch. The flames smolder for a moment, but then die away, leaving behind a pile of ashes but no true damage. Moran chuckles as he brushes the ash away. ]

But we ain't anywhere else, are we? As you can well see, it's here to stay. Try something more clever next time. Perhaps it will amuse me.

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text | un: h.h

Tue, 16 May 2017 23:26:40 GMT

Posted by: sssiiiiirrrrr

I understand that it is impossible to die here, could I ask, does that mean that untreated illnesses merely persist? The affliction of their symptoms being continuous or until some worse affliction rids us of them?[There's a pretty long pause in between this, and the next paragraph, like he's thinking real hard about it.]

I have begun to present with the symptoms of scarlet fever. I understand that much pain relief and medical technology is forbidden here, but if there is a doctor willing to assist me with bloodletting to relieve the symptoms before they take hold, I'd be most grateful to you.

[AKA: HE HAS A SORE THROAT. HE HAS A SORE THROAT AND HE THINKS HE'S DYING.]

[Private to Josh]

I've returned to my own room for the duration of this affliction, but you should burn the sheets and bedding. For your own safety.

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[4 - Video] UN: xXxClownFaNxXx93

Sun, 14 May 2017 07:32:11 GMT

Posted by: clowngirl

[Someone rarely seems to make a posting to the hellnet that isn't video. What can she say? She's a visual person.

Today, Harley's stunning visual is of herself pulling the camera back to reveal a wooden weapon of ridiculous proportion. The blonde grins manicly as she twirls it in her free hand.]

Hey, all you li'l devils!

Know what's gonna sound crazy? It's hard tryin' to find a high-quality, extra-sturdy, super-size mallet in these parts. Guess Gallagher went to Heaven. [No such thing as justice, folks.]

I was able to afford it after the festivities, though. Halloween was a hoot! Am I right or am I right?

[She takes a swing at the air.] Speakin' of, lotta out-of-towners made it in for the fun. Anybody by any chance bring any travel maps along the way? I needta borrow 'em.

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[text] un: molly_hooper

Sat, 06 May 2017 21:56:51 GMT

Posted by: alwaysmattered

If anyone is having problems with a one Sebastian Moran, kindly send him my way. I have something especially for him. And when I say 'him', I mean his face.

[attached: DSC_00019872.jpg]

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audio: un: JustOneTruth

Sat, 29 Apr 2017 17:12:12 GMT

Posted by: themissingdetective

...Um.Since we have all these new visitors I have a pretty big favor to ask,

If anyone sees a Japanese girl with blue eyes and long brown hair with a ~~horn~~ lean in it, could you send her my way? Her name is Ran Mouri.

I don't even know if she's here but there's something I really need to talk to her about. [ Like the truth. So she can properly hate him for putting everyone in danger. ]

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TEXT; UN: Trickster

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 22:55:28 GMT

Posted by: ailes_dor

So there's some weird new faces down here. I'm not sure what you're doing here but Hi
I've put together these handy-dandy poems so you can identify some of the best people in Hell.

my name is josh
and wen stuffs shite
i make a plan
i puts it rite

my name is mike
i hav no shirt
wen im at the arena
bitches get hurt

my name is jawn
aka doctor sass
i may be small
but i'll kick yo ass

my name is harl
in black n in red
i lov mye doges
but now i am ded

my name is luci
withe really gud hair
i am the devil
withe gucci underwear

mye name is gabe
i am super hot
and when he sees this
greg says "can you not"

my name is Greg
gabe can you not
is jus what i saed
but i will forgive him
he gives me gr8 head

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[Video] un: parfaitsamurai

Sun, 23 Apr 2017 10:51:09 GMT

Posted by: permboy

[ It's probably not the most professional of images, to sit cross-legged on top of his bed, but it filters the light from outside nicely and, to be honest, his hair looks great. As long as it doesn't look like he's got a halo going, this is fine.

He opens his mouth to start speaking, but then there's a quiet meowing sound and he gets distracted, pulling the phone closer to his chest as he leans over and whispers furiously. ]

Shhh, shut up! You're supposed to meow only when I point the camera at you!

[ There's a few seconds of silence, and then he straightens back up, clearing his throat as he puts the phone down, leaning against a stack of magazines. Wait, is this an unflattering angle? Ah-- Too late. He didn't think that part through.

He turns his head, and coughs into his closed fist. Then, he folds his arms. ]

Need someone to fix the wall your crazy ex punched through? Need someone to find your lost pet? Need the fucker who fired your girlfriend to get what's coming for 'em?

If you pay me a humble sum of dracos, I can do all these things for you, and more!

[ SAGE NOD. ]

I'm Odd Jobs Gin-chan, and I'll do whatever you want me to, as long as you pay me. Well, almost. There are limits.

[ While he was talking, a reddish brown cat with spikes along its back walks into the screen, most likely bigger than the meow would have had you expect. After a quick butt wiggle, it jumps right into his lap.

Claws and all.

What follows is a shriek and some panicked flailing as he tries to free his crotch from this monster, and he ends up on his back, head towards the camera, holding the cat up in the air at arm's length as it stretches out front paws and claws towards him with another meow. ]

So I, ah, found a cat ... thing. Somebody please tell me they own it. It's totally after my dick! It wants to tear it right off, I swear!

[ SUFFERING.

He rolls back over, onto his knees, and clutches the fiend to his chest as he reaches out to end the recording. He could probably do it over, but can he be bothered? No. He'll just post it like this. ]

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[text : un: bestcloser]

Wed, 19 Apr 2017 06:28:40 GMT

Posted by: notgivingyourmoneyback

[This is going out via text message because he's not feeling the video chat today.]

To anyone who suddenly had a confused, irritated, annoyed, grumpy or pissed off... well - me - show up in their bedroom, shack, shower, workplace, random street corner, swimming pool (fuck you whoever was behind this bullshit), or rooftop - fuck me if I know what was going on. One day everything was normal, the next I'm poofing around like I'm stuck in some demented transporter, showing up in random locations. I suppose I can apologize for being in odd places, but that's about it. And given this place, there's no guarantees it won't happen again.

[Though, he does hope it never happens again. It was mostly unpleasant - especially that pool thing.]

Edit: (ooc: feel free to claim Harvey ended up interrupting something/landed on your coffee table, etc. XD)

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Video | Picking a Costume | un- SatanicAngel

Sun, 16 Apr 2017 22:58:39 GMT

Posted by: best_mom

Hm, Halloween is coming up, isn't it?

It doesn't feel like it without the beautiful death of the world to herald it.

Still, I want to find a costume to wear. Something truly terrible. Maybe a puppy?

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video; un: IT'S NOT USERNAME, IT'S KATSURA

Sat, 15 Apr 2017 19:48:54 GMT

Posted by: bombdemon

[ A young man with long hair and gentle features appears on the screen. He seems to be wearing a traditional kimono, and his expression suggests that he's about to announce something Very Grand Indeed. ]

[ He waits a few moments to build up suspense, then; ]

Greetings, fellow Hell residents!

On behalf of the Reform Branch, [ actually do they even know about this? Probably not ] I announce Little Hades' annual COSTUME CONTEST!!

( IMAGE HEAVY AND PROBABLY NSFW )

[ Another pause, and he clears his throat for the next part of Very Important. ]

More importantly, I hope that this little discussion has cleared out any confusion you might have had and maybe even jump-started some excellent ideas.

I look forward to seeing your costumes and choosing the best of the best in Little Hades!

You may submit your contest entries RIGHT HERE, or via email, itsnot"katsura@hellmail.com"itskatsura@hellmail.com. Likewise, feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.

Best of luck!

[ And the feed's out. ]

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#1 | video;

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 02:09:54 GMT

Posted by: heisenbitch

Got a question. [ A pause, the video image shaky and jerky as Jesse turns his shitty device around and sets it down in front of him. The image is still, then; Jesse's face, sallow looking with dark bags under his eyes, is stony with a flat, sickened anger. ] Or more of an observation than a question, really. Specifically about kids being dragged down into this infernal shithole. Like... which buncha sick assholes in charge of the whole Reaping thing looks at a kid and decides, "That kid deserves the same eternal suffering fate as that other evil scumbag over there"?

[ A bewildered show of hands as much to angrily exclaim, 'What the fuck, yo.' ]

I mean, if someone who's been roasting away down here in Satan's asscrack a lot longer than I have can explain this bullshit to me, that'd be hugely appreciated. 'Cause I'm struggling hardcore to understand it.

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text; rosedurossignol (+1 Photo)

Wed, 12 Apr 2017 15:13:06 GMT

Posted by: lethermindwander

[This was meant to be a private message to Christine's dearest best friend but Hell tech is being wonky again. It decided that the rest of you should be subjected to the ridiculousness that Liz puts up with on the daily.]

( cut for image... )

I didn't quite find a cask down here but I brought my own bottle anyway so it's all good? Drink your heart out, Montresor, revenge is Fortunato's tonight? This morning? Pretty sure it's still morning. Elizabeth, I need a new hobby. This game of "I can fit in that" is starting to get out of hand.

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text; UN: deliziosa (contains attachment)

Wed, 12 Apr 2017 06:42:13 GMT

Posted by: deadlydelicacy

What is this monstrosity? This is not staying in our room.

attached: crimeAgainstFashion.png

I've posted this publicly because you should be ashamed.

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video; un: L

Mon, 10 Apr 2017 21:37:19 GMT

Posted by: coercive

[Laura's sitting outside somewhere, organizing scrap metal she's picked up into neat little piles. Beyond shadowing Josh at work and running around exploring, she's got entirely too much time on her hands here and no purpose.]

I want to find two men.

[She keeps it casual, though she never looks directly up from what she's doing.]

They died but are not here. I want them back.

[A long stretch of silence follows the clipped words, and she keeps sorting through the scrap metal. Eventually she reaches over and the feed ends.]

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TEXT; UN: Durachok

Sun, 09 Apr 2017 22:52:22 GMT

Posted by: combatdoc

Now that there's new blood arriving I've been instructed to give newcomers and long-time residents a list of procedures and services that are and aren't offered at Abaddon Hope Hospital along with some...helpful...visual aids.

Right. Before you start complaining, yes I do realize that they need some updating. Apparently the last time someone did the pamphlets for this it was the 13th century. Considering some of the resource shortages here, they're not that far off.

Abaddon Hope Hospital Services Available

NO

Dental care
Hospice
Lice Removal
Male Enhancement

YES

Eye Surgery
Colonoscopy
Maternity Ward
Brain Surgery
Infectious Disease
Sexually Transmitted Disease
General Injury and Trauma
Tonsil and Adenoid Removal

With all the trouble we've had with strange illnesses cropping up lately, I'd also like to remind everybody to wash their hands regularly with soap and water. Or alcohol. Might want to give the "mystery" sausage cart outside the Hive a miss too.

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Video -un: Trickster

Sat, 01 Apr 2017 05:17:25 GMT

Posted by: ailes_dor

[The sun is streaming through the window, Gabriel is sat cross-legged on the grass of Greg's gorgeous garden in Little Eden. The bright light makes his skin positively glow (although not in the way some angels do), and his eyes are dancing with happiness as butterflies flap from flower to flower behind him. He's knitting something that looks suspiciously like a bootie. Or maybe a very deformed mitten. Whatever it is, Gabriel looks very happy, and strangely enough for Little Hades, pretty peaceful. ]

Guys I need some ideas for baby names. I've written a list but... well, considering my history with naming things, maybe it's a good idea to get a little inspiration from outside sources.

I'm not sure if we're getting boys or girls or something else, or how many, so any and all suggestions would be useful.

And no, no matter what other people say, no biblical names.

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video; UN: t.brink (filtered from UN: diencephalon)

Sat, 25 Mar 2017 02:47:21 GMT

Posted by: iswashbuckle

Uh, hi.

[ Clearly he's not fully comfortable with addressing everyone in Hell, but it's either do this or just argue with himself forever, and that's been getting him nowhere. ]

I'm Topher. Brink. Topher Brink.

[ He waves. Okay, now that greetings are done, time to get to business. ]

I need some advice of the... romantic sort. There's a girl- a woman here, and I think we're having a little problem.

[ Yes, he's aware that this is embarrassing. ]

She keeps trying to run away, like she doesn't want to actually see me. I mean, we've had some problems before, but-

[ He doesn't know how to finish that. She died before they could actually make progress. ]

I can't tell if I did something, but there's always a reason why someone would want to push another person away. I think, anyway.

[ He isn't really speaking with a lot of experience behind him, after all. ]

Has that happened to any of you before?

[ As he's winding this down, he finds himself wondering just how it happened that his first-ever message is one dealing with romantic problems. Again, it seems a little embarrassing, but he's in over his head, and he needs some outside advice. ]

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[accidental video\\ UN: AngelOfDeath ]

Mon, 20 Mar 2017 02:21:46 GMT

Posted by: not_mephistopheles

[This isn't much of a post at all.

Actually, this is really just someone's phone having a major spaz attack.

Really it's nothing, you should probably just move on. See this plain black screen? So boring, right?

Only all of the sudden, there are eyes. Yup. Glowing, eerie blue eyes. They're kind of creepy, until--]

Mrow?

[Okay false alarm everyone, this is just a cat on the internet. All is well. She looks completely unamused-- perhaps she's about to end this pointless video herself...

-- but suddenly, terrible throat-ripping coughing erupted in the ill defined darkness. There is a sudden flare of motion as something (or more accurately, multiple somethings) falls and crashes, and blurs of cat feet and rich red-wine colored sheets flash on the screen. The phone seems to have fallen to the floor, along with what appears to be the broken glass of an ornate huuka, and a pair of fine black gloves. These details are lit a little more prominently by some kind of fire-light streaming weakly from the side.

There is also a lump of blankets breathing shallowly and unsteadily upon the floor.

Wait.

Briefly, one deathly pale spidery hand reaches from beneath the mound of lavish covers, groping for something... maybe even the phone, but Ayesha is suddenly in the frame again, giving alarmed nasally meows and variating between licking and biting that faintly trembling clammy hand. There is another very slow blur of movement, and there's--

Well, it's a sound. You could almost say a human (demon/angel/whatever) made it, if they were trying to express agonizing pain and blistering frustration, without any real voice to speak of. The zombie-cat headbutts the latent hand, before trotting towards the phone and pawing it away, so the blanket-lump can no longer be seen.

Blanket Lump need privacy, after all.]

{ooc: Responses may come from Ayesha in the form of cat videos. LACIE, CHRISTINE, action spam maybe? *puppy eyes*}

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